It has been a week now that I have been back in my safe and cozy Hobbit hole and I find that I have this overwhelming conflicting sensation of elation and emptiness; elation because of the energy that surged through my body while I was in the forest and emptiness because of how much I miss it. Walking around the city, around campus, I feel like it’s a barren wasteland that’s virtually silent. Maybe there is a bird chirping to my left, or the siren of a fire truck coming up from behind me, or, maybe, the occasional cricket scuttling past my feet. There are no spider webs to peel off of my face, no spiders to make me curse with fright (I mean the ones here are quite puny after all), no colorful butterflies to dart before my eyes, no chorus of high pitched cicadas or chirping poison dart frogs, no mud to get my shoe stuck in and need to pull out with both hands.

Looking back at my first entry, it is obvious to me that I knew what would happen- I knew I was going to fall in love with the forest but I did not expect how deeply this love would become. This adventure has been perhaps the most insightful of my life. I feel like I found out a bit more about who I am- who Brigit is. The trees taught me to always take a moment to look up and not be fixated on the mud caked at my feet, the manic bobbing of the harvestmen spiders taught me to never be afraid to pursue the next question or the next step because it isn’t known which will be the last, the immortal leaf cutter ants taught me to always keep pushing forward because my work in life will be directed towards the benefit of the colony- of the world, my partner’s effervescent and vibrant laughter taught me to always spend a moment laughing about the beautiful ironies of life, and the gentle moments of silence from my peers and instructors reminded me to always have faith in myself and in my ambitions.

I feel the thirst boiling within my bones to figure out how to get myself back out there again- I know deep within my body that I want to dedicate my life to researching life and all of its beautiful small details that are crucial to the maintenance and improvement of the planet and all of those who reside in it. Maybe I am not Frodo, maybe I am not the chosen savior, but I will do everything in my power that I can do to work towards protecting the essence of all that is life so that others can have their own experience of finding themselves in the solace of nature like I have.